So, summer’s a-comin’, and with it will no doubt come the usual crowds of people in Birkenstocks. This saddens us.
You see, much has been written, both on this site and elsewhere, about Crocs, and their general ugliness. Much, too, is written about Ugg boots, for the same reason. Not a lot is said about Birkenstocks, however, which we also consider to be fashion criminals: not, of course, on the same level as their Croc brethren, but… almost.
No, The Fashion Police are not fans of Birkenstocks. Especially not when they’re worn with blinding white socks, and if there’s any doubt in your mind that people do this, we’d invite you to take a stroll round any one of Disney’s marvellous theme parks this summer, and we’ll prove to you that yes, people do.
We suspect that the Birkenstock wearers would give the same excuse for their ownership of fugly shoes as the wearers of Crocs. "But they’re so comfy!" they all chorus, as if there is absolutely no way you can ever be comfortable without wearing fugly shoes. The Fashion Police know this isn’t true, so we’re adding Birkenstocks to our "Crimes of Fashion" list, and we offer no apology. Now, who’s with us?