This was so close to being dress of the day. So close. I saw it on the pages of Net-a-Porter. I swooned a little in my seat. It was my perfect dress. The pea green colour. The boat neck. The fitted, slim, shape. And, as the coup de grâce, there was even the hint of a cute little bow at the back! "I bet that bow is just the perfect finishing touch on this perfect, perfect dress!" I though, excitedly clicking on the "more pictures" link to see the back.

It was then that I died a little inside. Because this? This is no cute little bow. This is a full set of green silk cushions, stapled onto the model’s butt. Either that, or it’s a really quite disturbing fungal disease. Either way, this is a crushing disappointment. To have come so near to the perfect dress, and to end up so very far away – it’s tragic.

Note to Isaac Mizrahi: There is such a thing as "too much" when it comes to bows, you know. And this? Is it.

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