Crimes of New York Fashion Week – Part 1

No, that’s not your poor old granddad, back from a hard day down t’pit, and looking slightly the worse for wear. That’s poor Freja Beha Erichsen, who opened Alexander Wang’s show this week wearing a see-through vest, a knit cap, and her dad’s pants and trousers. Poor Freja. And poor us, if this is what the Fall/Winter season fashion is to bring us. Sadly, though, this was only one of the horrors that awaited us on the New York runways…

Yes, Alexander Wang definitely wants us all to spend next winter looking like what my mum would call "puir souls". This model didn’t ladder her tights by accident, you see: the designer laddered them for her before she went on, and he did the same thing to all the other tights in the show. The good news: at least we’ll be able to sustain ladders and still be in fashion. The bad news: well, would you want to walk around like this?

This is what happens when you let Lindsay Lohan be your muse. Katy Rodriguez (left) and Alexander Wang (right) sent some of their models out in crotch-revealing leggings (which we denounced as a crime of fashion earlier today) and… just tights. Actually, we showed you Lindsay wearing almost this exact outfit earlier this year. So, Lohan will be the height of fashion, the rest of us will be… just wearing last season’s clothes until fashion gets its senses back, thanks very much.

Now, if only ET had had one of these on Halloween, maybe Elliot wouldn’t have had to cut up that sheet, hmm? Halston’s much-anticipated comeback collection was full of pieces like this, which seemed to suggest that either a) we’ll all be following the Hollywood pregnancy trend and will be needing the extra room or b) it’s suddenly going to be desirable to have no figure AT ALL – and if you do have one, to hide it – quick!