As a fully paid-up member of the anti-trainers league, I was never going to like Reebok’s 25th Anniversary Freestyle Hi Tops. What I didn’t realise, however, is that I would dislike them so very much. I mean, they’ve called them "Wrapping Paper Sneakers" because they look like they’ve been covered in wrapping paper. Lots of different types of wrapping paper. But who does that? Who seriously wants to walk around looking like they stuck random bits of brightly coloured paper to their feet? Or let a small child loose on their trainers with some crayons?
And here we get to the crux of the matter. Like Crocs and dungarees before them, these are items of clothing that are really only suitable for those under the age of five. Adults have no business wearing things like this. Unless, of course, the adult in question actually does work as a clown, in which case they have our blessing.