These remind me of something. Now what is it? Oh yeah, that’s right – it’s a crime of fashion! I jest, I jest… but only a little bit. I’m not sure these deserve true Crime of Fashion status – I reckon they’d get you a warning rather than ten year’s hard labour – but they do make me laugh every time I look at them, and not in a good way. I would like to think that this is just an example of bad photography, and that, once the shoe is on the foot, that flower magically rightens itself and starts behaving like a proper floral shoe embellishment, but it looks to me like it fastens too close to the tip of the toe for that to be possible unfortunately.

I’d love to see someone actually walking in these. I’m picturing a kind of prissy, pointy-toed walk, a bit like Monty Python’s Ministry of Silly Walks. That aside, I’m worried about Miu Miu. Having enjoyed a year or more of being one of our favourite designers in the world, ever, they appear to have gone right off the rails, shoe-wise. In fact, they’re starting to remind me of Britney Spears, and that’s never a good thing, is it?