They’re pink. They’re plastic. They’ve got holes in them. No, they’re not Crocs – they’re Sketchers’ ‘Calies’ pumps, and they’re also available in red, navy and white. We’ve no idea how long these have been around for, but we’d put them up there with Crocs in terms of sheer ugliness. And what’s with the straps across the bridge of the foot? To make them look like the lumps of pink plastic have been literally lashed onto your feet or something? All we know is they’d have to be lashed onto our feet, because we can’t imagine a set of circumstances in which we’d slip into them voluntarily. Can you?