Crimes of Fashion, Shoes

Crime of Fashion: Furry mules by Report


Brace yourselves, folks: I’m afraid these are the first in a long line of ugly shoes we have to show you this week, many of which follow the same, bizarre theme: furry mules.

The furry mule is an enigma to The Fashion Police. Not unlike the peep toe boot, which suggests that a time will come when you will be cold enough to need boots, but hot enough to fancy feeling a little bit of a breeze around your toes, the furry mule appears to have been designed for a hitherto unknown type of weather in which it’s so cold that you’ll need your shoes to be fur-trimmed, yet simultaneously so warm that you’ll be happy to have them open at the back, exposing your heels to the elements.

This is even stranger to us, because we have yet to meet the high heeled mule that could comfortably be worn with tights. Every one we’ve known (and, to be fair, we haven’t known many, the high heeled mule not being quite at the top of The Fashion Police’s Wish List) has needed that extra bit of traction created by bare feet to keep the damn things from slipping off, so, again, the "cosy at the front, completely freaking freezing at the back" thing is perplexing.

And all of this, of course, is to say absolutely nothing of the fact that these? Are ugly. So, so ugly. Report? You’ve gone from the sublime to the totally and utterly ridiculous here. Consider this your first Fashion Police warning…

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