I’ve been trying in vain to imagine what kind of person would actually wear this crazy, patterned catsuit to something other than a 70s revival night, and it’s no good, I just can’t do it. Or maybe I just don’t want to. This, you see, is a combination of several of my own personal fashion pet peeves.

First of all, it’s a jumpsuit. I just can’t get on with jumpsuits, and I don’t care how fashionable they be or who tells me to wear them, I just won’t do it, and you can’t make me. So there.

Secondly, it’s that pattern. Brown and orange (peach?) never was my favourite combination, and adding violet and grey to the mix just doesn’t make it any easier on the eye, or any less like something you’d see on an old pair of seventies-style curtains.

Lastly, the one-shoulder design. I don’t even know what it is I have against this – I think it’s that it reminds me of ice-skating costumes of the past – but I just don’t like it. Or I don’t like it on this. If you do, well, your luck is in: it’s on sale at My Wardrobe for £152.