They may have been acceptable in the 80s, but they sure as hell aren’t acceptable now. They’re the five biggest fashion crimes of the 80s – which was itself just one long crime against fashion, from beginning to end. Anyone who was alive during the late 1980s will surely remember it as one of the worst-dressed decades ever – unless, of course, you’ve managed to repress the memory, in which case, good for you, and I wish I could. Here’s our round-up of the worst of 80s fashion.
1. Shell suits
Perhaps the biggest fashion crime EVER, never mind just the 80s, the shell suit will go down in history as the sartorial equivalent of that dodgy one-night-stand you still can’t quite believe you let yourself in for. Why did people wear them? Why did no one ever take a long hard look in the mirror one day and say, "Hey! I look like a complete tool! The hell with this!" Well, maybe they did, who knows. Of all of the things there are to hate about shell suits (and there are lots of things to hate about shell suits) perhaps the most inexplicable was the fact that the gaudier and uglier they were, the more coveted they would become. We were a nation of lunatics, all competing to own the fugliest shellsuit in all the land. What happened to us?!
2. Acid wash denim
I think the picture says it all, no? This was a decade in which the "double denim" look wasn’t just acceptable – it was actually encouraged. And whether you went for the "denim jacket and jeans" look or the "denim jacket and denim skirt" version, it mattered not – all that mattered was the denim in question had to be acid-washed. They called it Acieeeed, and they loved it. In fact, they loved it so much that they wore it from head to toe, day in, day day out. Bonus points if your acid wash jeans had little fiddly zips on the bottom or – in the case of younger members of society – cartoons painted on the legs. For reasons that still elude me to this day, Flintstones motifs were the most popular. Why? I have no idea – and given that people were walking around in shell suits, I think the Flintstones are probably the least of our worries here, don’t you?
3. Neon ankle socks
Neon ankle socks arrived around 1988/1989 and only the brightest, most obnoxious neon colours would do. Snot green. Puke yellow. Basically, if it was a colour so bright is was guarenteed to go with absolutely NOTHING (and trust me, that applied to all of the neon sock colours), why, you would wear it on your feet, of course! Here’s the thing, though: it wasn’t enough to wear just one colour of sock. No, you had to wear TWO DIFFERENT COLOURS at once – one on each foot. So you’d have a green sock and a yellow sock, or – if you really wanted to clash – a pink sock and an orange sock. You’d wear these with your acid wash jeans, which you’d roll up just far enough to look stupid, and to reveal those all-important socks which would flash jauntily in and out of your line of vision as you walked. You’d be wild and kerrazy, and the envy of all your friends. Except, not really.
4. Huge shoulder pads
Part of the power-dressing trend (which in itself just sounds all kinds of wrong, doesn’t it?), huge shoulder pads were considered the very epitome of 80s chic, but then, given the kind of things they were up against, that’s not really much of an accolade. Worn on everything from jackets to dresses and from shirts to t-shirts (gotta power-dress at the gym too, you know) they were popularised by TV shows like Dallas and Dynasty and made everyone look like a football player in drag. They’re rumoured to be making a comeback, too – watch this space.
5. Pre-creased shirts
I couldn’t find a picture of one of these, but I’m guessing you can probably all imagine a really badly creased shirt, right? Now imagine wearing it, and thinking you looked cool. That was the 80s for ya…
Were you alive in the 80s? What fashion crimes do you remember?
Related: 80’s fashion: a guide | 80’s Fashion Accessories
Oh my God, I love acid-washed denim! I used to love it a lot more when I was more into punk rock but I definitely haven’t owned a pair at least since I was a child, if ever. I don’t know if you have Urban Outfitters over there, but they’re bringing it back so you may want to employ constant vigilance at this time.
I’m sort of glad that shoulder pads are coming back, not because I intend on wearing them, but I’m a slightly broad-shouldered girl and I’d love it if every other girl was walking around looking like they were getting ready for a game of powderpuff football (that’s an American thing where the cheerleaders play football, I have no idea why).
I’m technically a child of the 80s (born in 82), but I gotta say…even though I didn’t participate in most of these trends to a large scale…I wanted to. I think that’s worse.
Also, I think poodle perms deserve an honorable mention. I attempted a perm in the 7th grade, but it didn’t take well (not sure if it was my hair being so long, or what). I ended up with very awkward waves. Bangs and all.
Yeah, those pictures are BURIED.
Oh. my. god. I actually had that VERY shellsuit! I have a lovely picture of me in it on a swing at the local garden centre, waggling my thumb against my nose and looking not unlike a muppet… Which just goes to prove the ill-effects a shellsuit can have on an otherwise elegant young lady (ahem).
And P.S. my favourite trend were the neon spiral laces to be worn in your chunky shoes or hi-tops with the neon socks – and preferably in two further clashing colours.
Caroline – oh God, I remember those laces! They were all the rage back then, and yes, particularly desirable with the neon socks/hi-tops combo! I can’t believe you had that very shellsuit! (Mine was silver. I was way cool.)
I had Flintstone jeans!!! Never a shell suit though. My sister did. And she had the neon socks (I’d forgotten you had to wear 2 colours), and I think she had the spiral laces too.
I will warn that I saw tapered legged with ankle zipper acid wash jeans in at least three Toronto stores this past week. I felt compelled to make the sign of the cross and throw holy water on the hideous things lest they rise from the table and attack me.
i remember the swirly shoelaces! and my shellsuit (although i have never heard it called that, it was a plain ol tracksuit to me.. or ‘zoot’ when i was very young) was a very similar colour scheme to that one! my mum had the jeans, hers had calvin & hobbes comics on the pockets. luckily any 80s trends i took part in were adapted for childrenswear so its slightly more forgivable when you’re a kid!
I think the list would be shorter if we were listing what WASN’T a fashion crime in the 80s! I remember leg warmers and VERY colourful HUGE knitted jumpers (sweaters) with the above mentioned poodle perm. Eeww
I am embarrassed to admit that I still have a pair of acid washed denim jeans in the back of my closet. Hey they looked so good on me I have always hoped that they would come back in style.
heheh. i lohv every thing here. i lohv a girl who can rock this style now
People are always going on how bad 80’s fashion yet the 90’s was just as bad. Blossom(tv show) is one example how fugly 90’s fashion was.
Floral dresses with Doc Martins, hats with stupid big flowers, flat wedge platforms, overalls and the list goes on.
neon ankle socks are back. i have seen them all over the place lately.
Why does everyone make fun of 80s fashion? Was it really any worse than the hideous earth tones or tacky disco outfits of the 70s, or the sloppiness of the 90s, or the backside-baring low-rise pants of today?
Every decade has had its fashion blunders, some of which were truly awful. If we’re honest with ourselves, we’ll admit it.
I remember
- sweaters with a deeeeep v-neckline that were usually worn with a narrow belt
- clochard-jeans: shapeless jeans (not really baggy) with an only slightly dropped crotch that were much too wide at the waist, so you had to use a belt to keep them from falling off you. Looked horrible at the waist, especially given the then-common habit of tucking your tops into your pants.
- jeans with white fabric-stripes down the outside of the leg and/or across one upper thigh.
- denim sweatshirts. (Yes, I had one. Don’t ask.)
- the colour combinations: pink with yellow, pink with green, blue with purple,… and everything was bright. Nobody wore black or grey.
- neon colours in general. It wasn’t just socks, it was also jackets, and shoelaces, hair accessories, scarves, nail polish, … you name it.
- Smileys everywhere (late 80s). Here in Germany we didn’t have the Flintstones, we had smileys on or jeans. And shirts. And everything.
80s fashion I actually miss:
- slim stretch jeans. The skinny jeans from 20 years ago that even I would fit into. (And still do. I’ve kept a pair and it still fits.)
- plain white high top sneakers. Call me a criminal, but I liked them.
The more I think of it, the more crimes come to the surface:
- headbands in general. No poodle perm or spiky punk hairdo was complete without a thick braided headband. Boys preferred those made of towelling cloth.
- I don’t know what exactly they were called, but one winter we had some kind of wide knitted tubes that you used as scarves, but could also pull up over your head to have some kind of hood. They were often fastened with the abovementioned headbands. It’s a true blessing that they only lasted for about one season.
- Shiny colour-changing satin blouses with woven-in patterns.
- Plastic-rimmed glasses the size of saucers. I got my first glasses in 1983, when I was 9 years old, and they are 3x the size of my current glasses. Go figure!
I am also a product of 1982 and I am truly fascinated that the later fashion of the 80s (88/89) are back. Lately, I see the younger kids wearing neons and of course, colored skinny jeans with high tops. I really flipped out when I saw the Reebok Pumps. I just bought a pair of oversized purple sunglasses… but the ones with the tint of dark to light. Cazells.
For years, I thought none of this would ever be seen again but fashion somehow does repeat itself every 20 years. Plus, the 17 year olds never wore such things so it’s new to them.
In the meantime, I am loving and have embraced this “comeback of 88/89″.
However, I am in NYC and have seen quite a bit of girls wearing African print leggings which I am not ready to accept.
Chanel- “…how fugly 90’s fashion was. Floral dresses with Doc Martins…”
Thats a British classic! x
Chanel- “…how fugly 90’s fashion was. Floral dresses with Doc Martins…”
Thats a British classic! x
The scarf that could also be pulled up into a hood was called a “snood” in the UK if I remember right.