Crimes of Fashion

Fashion Crimewatch – top five fashion crimes in Glasgow this weekend


The Fashion Police were out and about in Glasgow this weekend, folks, and while Glasgow is actually a pretty stylish city in general, it has its fair share of Fashion Criminals too. These were the worst five fashion crimes we spotted:

1. Nude tights with short shorts 

If you’re going to wear shorts in the city, you have to have the confidence to pull it off. That, I’m afraid, means bare legs. While opaque tights are acceptable under shorts in the winter (we’re actually loving this look), nude tights are never acceptable under short shorts. Not in any circumstances. Sorry.

2. White linen trousers with VPL
If you absolutely must wear white linen trousers, for the love of God, get yourself some nude underwear (note: not tights. See point 1, above). Because if you’re wearing blinding white undies with thin white linen, why, you may as well just walk around in your knickers, no?

3. Muffin top
I love low rise jeans and trousers, I really do. They’re so much more flattering than high-waisters, and yes, that goes for anyone with a bit a belly, too. While high waists will cut into your belly, making it flop unattractively, low riders will sit on your hips, creating the illusion of less flab. There is one huge exception to this rule, though, and that’s when your low rise jeans are a size or two too small, creating the phenomenon known as "muffin top". That’s just not nice. The answer? Buy clothes that fit you properly, easy as that.

4. Dressing inappropriately for the weather
I know it’s technically summer, but when it’s pouring with rain almost 24/7, going into the city in nothing but one of those swimsuit coverups from Topshop that we featured a few weeks ago is a recipe for disaster. Yes, that coverup is very pretty, and it does make a nice dress, but it also goes see-through when wet, and the girl I saw wearing one in the pouring rain did not look like a happy bunny…

5. Crocs.
Need I say more? (Actually, since my last visit to Glasgow, I see a Crocs store has opened up in Buchanan Galleries. I almost wept.)

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