The humble Mary-Jane, a fashion classic. Now, you wouldn’t think there’d be much you could do to totally ruin a pair of Mary-Janes, would you? But you would be wrong. What you can do is, you add a big old ugly rubber sole to them. Maybe with some super-strong grips. You can add a gold metallic heel, which wouldn’t be a fashion crime in itself, but which really doesn’t go with the rubber sole, does it? It’s like sticking some bows on a pair of workman’s steel toecaps. Oh, then you can make them mustard yellow. Congratulations, Schoolrock! You done made the Mary-Jane ugly!

Crim