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Archive for July, 2007
 Apologies for the small picture, but I think you can see what I’m getting at here (there’s a better pic here if you want to see one). We don’t normally bother with the sartorial choices of Big Brother contestants here at The Fashion Police (we leave that to our Big Brother blog ) but as we were just talking about muffin top, here’s a perfect example of how not to let it all hang out.
This is Shanessa Reilly, would be Big Brother housemate, care worker and, er, pole dancer. Clearly the pole dancing part of her personality was the dominant part on Friday night, when she chose to enter the BB house wearing this little pink dress – with "little" being the operative word. Either that or there were no mirrors wherever she was getting ready for the show. (*Miaow* Saucer of milk for The Fashion Police, please…)
The Fashion Police were out and about in Glasgow this weekend, folks, and while Glasgow is actually a pretty stylish city in general, it has its fair share of Fashion Criminals too. These were the worst five fashion crimes we spotted:
1. Nude tights with short shorts
If you’re going to wear shorts in the city, you have to have the confidence to pull it off. That, I’m afraid, means bare legs. While opaque tights are acceptable under shorts in the winter (we’re actually loving this look), nude tights are never acceptable under short shorts. Not in any circumstances. Sorry.
2. White linen trousers with VPL
If you absolutely must wear white linen trousers, for the love of God, get yourself some nude underwear (note: not tights. See point 1, above). Because if you’re wearing blinding white undies with thin white linen, why, you may as well just walk around in your knickers, no?
3. Muffin top
I love low rise jeans and trousers, I really do. They’re so much more flattering than high-waisters, and yes, that goes for anyone with a bit a belly, too. While high waists will cut into your belly, making it flop unattractively, low riders will sit on your hips, creating the illusion of less flab. There is one huge exception to this rule, though, and that’s when your low rise jeans are a size or two too small, creating the phenomenon known as "muffin top". That’s just not nice. The answer? Buy clothes that fit you properly, easy as that.
4. Dressing inappropriately for the weather
I know it’s technically summer, but when it’s pouring with rain almost 24/7, going into the city in nothing but one of those swimsuit coverups from Topshop that we featured a few weeks ago is a recipe for disaster. Yes, that coverup is very pretty, and it does make a nice dress, but it also goes see-through when wet, and the girl I saw wearing one in the pouring rain did not look like a happy bunny…
5. Crocs.
Need I say more? (Actually, since my last visit to Glasgow, I see a Crocs store has opened up in Buchanan Galleries. I almost wept.)
When I go fantasy-shopping for designer handbags (which is I do far more often than is probably good for me) I always seem to forget about Coach. This is obviously stupid of me, because would you lookit this! It’s the leather legacy satchel, and it has that lovely substantial look about it that you only get with the best quality handbags. I can almost smell it. It’s the perfect "everyday" bag, and a world away from all of the logo-a-gogo bags that Coach also make, and it’s available in tan and black. I want.
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
A couple of weeks ago I had me a bit of a fashion dilemma. You see, we’d been invited to a barbecue, and I had the perfect little dress to wear to it. But it was cold, and also: raining. My legs? Were pale and luminous, and completely unfit to be seen in public. The only solution available to me seemed to be to wear it with a pair of black opaque tights, so I tried them on. It looked great. One problem, though: I have this "thing" about wearing opaque tights in the summer, and by "a thing" I mean "I just won’t do it". It seems to me to be somehow wrong to be wearing opaques during the so-called summer, even if the weather’s cool, and it’s not much of a summer at all. So, I stiuffed my trusty old tights back in their drawer, and I pulled on my jeans, just as I’d always known I would.
Today though, I stumbled across this picture of Joely Richardson at last night’s premiere of The Bourne Ultimatum, and she seems to be channeling last year’s Sienna Miller, in her gold dress and black opaque tights. So I ask you all: do you wear opaques in the summer? Would you? And what do you think when you see other people doing it? Poll after the jump…
(more…)
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
 Yes, yes, I know what I’ve said about tunics in the past, and no, I’m not changing my mind. Not completely, anyway. I still think tunics have the power to make even the slimmest woman look pregnant, but I can’t help being drawn to this thermal version courtesy of Marc by Marc Jacobs.
It’s partly the little bow that’s doing it (y’all know by now how I feel about bows) but it’s also the fact that it’s thermal. Remember my "I’m always freezing, even in summertime?" problem? Well, I’m thinking that thermal clothing could be a good way around that, and while a thermal tunic could just mean that I done lost my mind, I’m going to bookmark it anyway. Could be a hard winter, folks, you never know.
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
Well, well – Kate Moss scrubs up good when she lays off the crack, doesn’t she? I love her hair. I like the coat on the right. I absolutely adore the dress. But… wait. What the hell kind of animal did they kill to make the bag and the yeti coat? The Bag Snob says its fox fur, and points out, quite rightly, that it looks a lot like Grover from Sesame Street. Oh my God, Versace killed Grover! Kate Moss is wearing him! What madness is this?!
Thursday, July 26th, 2007
If you stood in line to get your hands on Anya Hindmarsh’s ‘I’m Not a Plastic Bag’ tote, here’s one with even better eco-credentials. Made from non-biodegradable juice and sauce packs, each one of these is unique – and they’re not made in factories, either. Dorothy Perkins tell the story behind the bags:
"Two hundred Filipino women decided to band together
and form a co-operative to clean up their neighbourhood. Initially they merely collected rubbish themselves, but as
the concept developed, they installed
big refuse bins at various local collection points such as schools, asking
people to recycle their used packs. As a
result they now collect 50,000 packs a day. The packs are then sorted,
cleaned, sanitized, sewn together and
transformed into the Rubbish Bags. Profits from the factory are divided between all the employees in the
co-operative."
The two styles shown above will be available at Dorothy Perkins from tomorrow.
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
 Now, I’m sure I’ve seen this dress on some celebrity or other, but I can’t for the life of me remember who it was. Anyone?
This isn’t the kind of style I’d usually go for, but if I was a celebrity (or if I just had $2095 begging to be spent), I’d snap up this dress in a flash. It’s Peter Som’s ‘Charlotte’ dress, and I’m loving the little chiffon sleeves, and the fact that the floaty chiffon on top is offset by the more structured shape of the shirt and bodice. So pretty, and so totally out of my current price league, that it’s going to have to remain a dream for now. Those of you who haven’t just spent all their money on a holiday can buy it at eLuxury.
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
I don’t like accessories with lips on them. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because it just seems wrong, somehow, to have a giant mouth anywhere other than… well, your mouth, really…. or maybe it’s because there’s just something a bit trashy about them. Who knows. The point is, I don’t like them, and while it pains me to be critical of yet another pair of shoes by the God of Shoes, Christian Louboutin, I don’t feel he’s left me with a whole lot of choice here, has he?
With these ‘Kiss Me’ pumps, Mr Louboutin has taken what is a very nice black patent wedge and… ruined it. Why has he done it? What made him think, "I know, I’ll stick a giant pair of lips on these – that’ll work!" No, I don’t want to kiss you, Christian. In fact, I feel a bit betrayed – seeing a shoe like this from you is like finding out that Santa Claus doesn’t exist. And you just know that some people are going to buy these and wear them with the Lulu Guinness ‘Lips’ clutch we featured a few weeks ago, don’t you? Do you really want to have that on your conscience?
Wednesday, July 25th, 2007
I think I’ve probably said this before, but I tend to judge fashion labels on two main things – their dresses and their outerwear. If a label makes good dresses and jackets, I’ll probably like them, which is why I love Burberry Prorsum. It’s a world away from the ubiquitous checks that are now seen on every market stall and every tackily-dressed teenager’s back round here, and this coat is the perfect example of Prorsum’s loveliness. Of course, some of you will think the over sized collar is just way too much, but I love me some oversized stuff every now and then, and I reckon these wide lapels plus the belted waist will equal a tiny looking waist for the wearer. A gorgeous twist on the classic Burberry trench, but, at £2000, not something I’m going to be seen in anytime soon, I’m afraid.
Buy: Burberry Prorsum zip trim coat
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