|
|
Archive for June, 2007
Now, normally I wouldn’t advocate matching your lipstick to your nails, your nails to your dress and your dress to your shoes. It can all get a bit "matchy-matchy", can’t it? When you’re Dita Von Teese, though, the normal rules just don’t apply, and she looks like a little porcelain doll with that alabaster skin and black hair of hers, and the red just sets everything off to perfection. She’s like a modern-day Snow White – and hey, she’s just managed to get herself divorced from the Big Bad Wolf!
OK, so I may have quibbled over who In Touch magazine placed first in their "Fashion Criminals of the Year" list, but they’ll get no argument from me over putting Kimberly Stewart in third place – not when she goes around dressed like this, anyway. When will these stars learn that bondage gear is for the bedroom, not for the red carpet? Also: how to tell if you’re looking at an Ugly Sister rather than at Cinderella – well, if the shoe doesn’t fit…
If I was going to spend $1385 on a handbag, I probably wouldn’t buy a bright red one, because as lovely as the colour is, it’s not quite as versatile as good old black or tan. Having said that, if I was in the market for a red designer handbag, this Le Prive bag by Jean Paul Gaultier would certainly be near the top of my list. Classic bowling bag shape, cute little button-down flaps, and even a belt as an added extra. And if you don’t fancy the red either, you can also buy it in grey or white.
(The colour also matches the blawg, and I’m shallow enough to appreciate little things like that)
 Catwalk Queen reports today that designer Christopher Kane was apparently none too happy to see Victoria Beckham pictured wearing one of his dresses. (So he’ll be horrified to see the picture on the left, then, of Victoria in… one of his dresses. Because Christopher Kane totally reads The Fashion Police, you know*). Oh boo hoo, poor Christopher, woe is he!
"I don’t want to sound presumptuous," says Kane, sounding presumptious, "but I’ve worked too hard for my
stuff to be seen on the front of the Sun newspaper. I couldn’t do anything about it, to be
honest. She wanted to borrow something, but I said no, so she went out
and bought it. I’ve got nothing against her, but she’s not the woman I
imagine wearing my dresses. I think more of women like Carine Roitfeld
because she’s sexy and intelligent. Posh Spice doesn’t even get a
look-in."
(more…)
In Touch magazine have just published their list of the year’s biggest fashion offenders, and the winner is…. Joss Stone! No! I mean, OK, sure, we can see where they’re coming from, and Joss normally looks like an accident in a costume box, but surely the biggest fashion offender of the year has to be Britney?
Britney does get a look in at number 2, however, with Kimberly Stewart at number three and Kelly Clarkson at four. So, what do you think of this list? Is Joss Stone really the biggest fashion offender in the world, or would you have awarded the title to someone else?
It seems The Fashion Police aren’t the only ones to have been impressed by Katie Holmes and her new look recently. No, a certain Britney Spears has been watching TomKat with interest, and now it seems our Brit wants a piece of Katie for herself – or a piece of her style, anyway.
""I like clothes. But I like to be comfortable, too," says Britney. (WHO KNEW?!) "Katie always looks so cute in her Armani and Manolo Blahnik stuff. I’m gonna go for that vibe and all the trimmings."
So, is Britney about to do a Katie and get all chic on us? Well, being the curmudgeonly old cynics that we are, we’re going to guess "no". But you can be sure that if she does, The Fashion Police will let you know.
[Source]
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
 This may not be news to you, but it’s certainly news to me – and very welcome news it is, too.
You see, I take a UK size 6. This is not an easy size to find in the UK. The majority of stores that do stock it, stock it only as part of their petite ranges, and this is about as much use to me as a bra would be to Britney Spears, because although I’m a short ass, I’m not quite short enough for the petite ranges, and while I get away with a "petite" top or skirt, petite trousers or jeans will cause people to ask me who died and caused me to wear my trousers at half-mast.
"That’s OK, though!" I hear you say, "There must be some stores in the UK that sell smaller sizes in regular leg lengths!" This is true – there are. But they are few and far between, and finding that elusive size 6 regular in their stock can be as unlikely as snapping Victoria Beckham on a "fat day". You can see my problem, here.
(more…)
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
I know hair usually comes under the jurisdiction of our beauty blog, Hey, Dollface!, but Amy Winehouse’s hair is troubling me, and it has been for a long time now. How does she sleep in it? How does she wash it? Doesn’t she have huge "hair down the plughole" issues? And if her husband catches her from the back, does he scream and think it’s a huge, hairy monster? These questions demand answers, folks. Or actually, maybe not, come to think of it. Maybe Amy should just demand a haircut? Go on, Amy, you’ll feel better for it, really…
Guess Amy didn’t ask to borrow Victoria Beckham’s 350 degree camera before she went out of the house, though, hey?
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
 Not content with having thousands of dollars worth of clothes, Victoria Beckham has apparently splashed out $500,000 on a closet. Yes, a closet. It has leather floors (which, I don’t know about you, but I don’t know how I’ve lived without them, really), Baccarat crystal and an Andy Warhol shoe print. So, well worth the money, then.
Best (or worst, depending on how you look at it), Victoria’s closet also has a camera which provides her with a 360 degree scan of her outfit, so that she doesn’t go out with her skirt tucked into her knickers, presumably. (Just FYI, Victoria, the rest of us use something we call "mirrors" for that) And – and this is my favourite part – the camera also tracks her outfits, so that she’s never seen in the same thing twice. Sounds just like Cher’s closet in Clueless. God, how I wanted Cher’s closet in Clueless…
Thursday, June 28th, 2007
(Britney’s assistant thinks: "Oh God, please don’t let her want to swap outfits with me, please don’t let her want to swap outfits with me…)
Sometimes I wonder if there’s any point in continuing to apprehend Britney Spears for her crimes of fashion. She’s such a persistent re-offender that barely a day goes by without some eye-wateringly awful ensemble, and there are days when I wonder if we shouldn’t just let her get on with that there downward spiral. But then, just as I start to think that, Britney will sink to new, as yet uncharted depths of style, and I’ll realise that while the woman clearly will never be stopped, the least we can do is keep a close eye on her.
As it happens, this isn’t even the worst outfit our Brit’s come out with lately. I mean, she may as well just have gone out in her underwear, no? Oh wait, she already did that one...
|
|
|
