May, 2007

Crime of Fashion: Bad grammar on slogan t-shirts

Remember that ‘Product of the 80s’ dress‘ Topshop were selling not so long ago? Well, here’s a version from ASOS for those of you who are even younger than the Topshop dress-wearers, and are, in fact, products of the 1990s instead. Have you spotted the deliberate mistake, though? Yes, that would be “product of the 90s” – no apostrophe required. Plurals don’t have apostrophes, kids – don’t listen to ASOS and Topshop, listen to The Fashion Police. We’ll keep you right. Or we’ll try, anyway. More crimes of fashion

Britney Watch: Totally tasteless jewellery

Britney said a bad word, Britney said a bad word! Only she said it with her jewellery not with her mouth – isn’t that, like, totally cool? Well, no. Of course it’s not freakin’ cool, people. In fact, it’s so totally un-cool that we’d send her straight to fashion jail, if, of course, she wasn’t there already… Oh, and she has the same "bad word" printed on her baseball cap, too. Classy. Not.

Ask the Fashion Police: Find me a dress for senior prom!

    "Dear Fashion Police, While it is not my senior prom, I was invited to prom by a friend and I really need help on choosing what kind of dress to wear. The country I live in is unkind (fashion-wise) to those who are larger than a size 2 . I am big in the hips, the breasts, the butt and thighs, while being reasonably smaller in the waist. I was wondering if you or others of the Fashion Police could help me choose a flattering style of dress for my kind of body. Thank you so much." Hi Deborah, Sounds like you have a classic hourglass figure, which makes you lucky because the standard prom dress shape was…

Getting ready for Big Brother 8? Check out our Big Brother blog!

There’s more to life than fashion, folks, (although not much more, to be honest), and those of you who’ll be tuning in to the first night of Big Brother 8 in the UK might want to take a look at our Big Brother blog, which will be covering all of the news from the Big Brother house for the duration of the series. Big-Blogger is its name, and is its address, so if yo fancy a short break from fashion , pop over and take a look!

Fashion Accessories On Trial: Oversized sunglasses

Still reeling from the news that UK TV Style think oversized sunglasses are the third-worst crime of fashion you can possibly commit , I’ve decided to put the offending items up On Trial and find out what the Fashion Police regulars think about them. Now, I’ve already given my opinion: I love my oversized sunnies and am rarely ever seen without them – but then, I don’t have the kind of emaciated, Nicole Ritchie-style figure that, when paired with big sunglasses, can make the wearer look like a giant, bug-eyed stick insect. (Do you even get bug-eyed stick insects?) I think Paris Hilton really suits her big sunnies in the picture below, but do you all agree with me, or…

Crime of Fashion: Fendi’s platform lace-ups

Barney’s are charging $640 for these platform lace-ups by Fendi. Isn’t that hilarious? I mean, can you imagine the kind of person that would pay hundreds of dollars to put something so ugly on their feet? Are these the same people, I wonder, who’re wandering around in jeans bikini pants and harem pants, I wonder? I think so. And while we can’t actually arrest the shoes, we’d sure as hell like to arrest the wearers…

Survey says socks with sandals are the biggest fashion crime of the summer

Wait a minute – didn’t we just do this already? Um, yes. Yes, we did. It was but two short weeks ago that we brought you the “shocking” news (I was shocked. Were you shocked?) that according to some survey or other, visible bra straps had been found to be the biggest summer fashion crime you can commit. Well, hold that result, folks, because according to ANOTHER survey – this time carried out by UKTV style – the REAL fashion crime of the summer is wearing socks with sandals. No way! Who knew socks with sandals looked rank? (Um, all of us, maybe?) This, however, is only the number one crime against fashion for men. Look after the jump for…

Manolo Blahnik gets a blog

So, you all know The Manolo, right? He’s the hilarious shoe blogger who is one of the leading lights of our little fashion-blogging universe. But The Manolo has some competition – from, er, the real Manolo. Yes, Mr Manolo Blahnik is about to start a blog – or what sounds very like one, anyway, at his newly revamped website. Apparently Manolo will be updating the site regularly – with his very own hands, people – with his thoughts, news, and information about his fabulous shoe collections. We can’t wait. Hey – want to trade links with The Fashion Police, Mr Blahnik, sir?

Fashion Criminal: Heather Locklear and her too-small bikini

Behold the under-cleavage – the cleavage that comes when your bikini top is a couple of sizes too small, and the reason why you should always make sure you jump around the changing room a few times and wave your hands in the air (like ya just don’t care, folks!) when you’re trying on a new swimsuit. If you fail to follow these steps, why, you could end up looking like Heather Locklear – or, more specifically, like Heather Locklear’s boobs, which, as you can see, are a two-pater – one part below the bikini, one part above. Don’t try it at home, kids…

H&M reveal Autumn/Winter 07 collection

I know most of you probably don’t want to even think about winter right now (God knows, I certainly don’t), but H&M have just released some pics of their new collection and it’s … well, it’s interesting to say the least. So, this is what you’ll be wearing this winter, folks: coats so voluminous you could house a small family under them and… wait, are those jogging pants? Thick, super-baggy jogging pants with – oh my Lord! – cuffs on the bottom? The hell? I dunno: I haven’t seen these clothes in the flesh, so for now I’m going to give them the benefit of the doubt. There are some more pics after the jump – be sure and tell…

Wanted! Emilio Pucci’s purple silk clutch bag

Ah, how is it that something so simple can be so stunning? This is just a regular old clutch bag, but the vibrant purple silk and oversized clasp turn it into something a little bit special. For those who like to flash their labels, the Emilio Pucci brand is stamped on each of the clasps, although you’d have to get pretty close to be able to see it. Fabulous with one of this season’s silk print dresses (as long as it’s not in a clashing colour), it’s £354 at Net-a-Porter.

Fashion Criminal: Naomi Campbell at Cannes

Hey, look, we found out what happened to the top half of Caprice’s dress – Naomi Campbell stole it! Seriously, what’s with this look right now? I mean, this dress is by Giambattista Valli, but it still looks like Naomi here just killed some poor feathered creature and draped it around her… And hey, knowing Naomi, maybe she did?

Fashion Criminal: Mischa Barton in her sensible black shoes

Oh Mischa, Mischa… And you were doing so well, too. What happened here? Did you have to walk to the party and think, "I know! I’ll wear my comfy black flats to walk in, and then change into something else once I get there?" And then did you forget to pack the "something else?" Because, while there’s really nothing wrong with these shoes per se, Mischa, go with the dress they do not. This dress needs something sparkly, strappy and with a bit of a heel. It also needs something to stop it looking like it’s about to fall right off you, but one thing at a time, eh?

Fashion Criminal: Lindsay Lohan and her lacy bra

On the one hand, I guess you could argue that hey, at least Lindsay’s actually wearing a bra here – unlike some fashion criminals we could mention. On the other hand – does she really need to be flashing quite so much of it? No, of course she doesn’t. But then again, she’s Lindsay Lohan. Flashing parts of her anatomy are what she does now. I mean, I know she does a little bit of acting now and then, and is also about to record an album, but her true career at the moment is falling out of nightclubs in various states of undress. At least she’s not accessorised with Calumn Best this time, though… Lindsay chose to team her…

Dress(es) of the Day: Big flower jersey dress from Dorothy Perkins

I wasn’t 100% sure about these jersey dresses when I first noticed them on the Dorothy Perkins website, but I had a look at them in the flesh today, and, well, let’s just say the green one has just been added to my "things to buy on payday" list. The jersey material felt good quality – not like that "spit peas through it" thin jersey you sometimes see on floral dresses – and while the dresses are empire lined, the shape is narrow enough that they won’t make you look pregnant – always a bonus, I find. Also, while the print is bold and eye-catching, it’s not that wild and kerrazy mis-mash of colours we’ve been seeing around lately, so…

Wanted! Silvery glittery slingback shoes from Dune

Now, I’m pretty sure it’s not even close to Christmas yet (thank God), so what’s with all the glitter covered shoes, lately? And why do I keep finding myself drooling over them, when last Christmas I didn’t even like glitter covered shoes? Actually, it’s not so much that I don’t like them: I obviously do, or I wouldn’t be featuring two pairs here in one week. But the thing is, I’m a complete neat-freak, and I keep having visions of all of that glitter falling off, one tiny piece at a time, and me still finding it stuck to my rugs six months six months from now. I mean, does that even happen? Does the glitter fall off shoes like…

Christian Lacroix designs fashion line for La Redoute, world rejoices

I love La Redoute. OK, so they’re not the most directional of fashion catalogues, but when you can get vest tops and other basics for a few pounds, I’m not going to be complaining. And now I have even more of a reason to love La Redoute, with the news that none other than Christian Lacroix has just designed a 35-piece capsule collection for them. There’s a red, frilly trench coat, a taffeta dress and a few handbags and other accessories, plus home wear including a chair and an ottoman. There are no bullfights, gypsies or opera singers, though. "I avoided anything to do with bullfights, Gypsies or the opera as I didn’t want it to look like a caricature…

Fashion Criminal: Amy Winehouse’s hair

I know Amy Winehouse’s hair isn’t a person (although, to be honest, I wouldn’t be surprised to find out there was a person living in it), but I’m going to call it a Fashion Criminal anyway, because… well, do you really need me to explain why? Almost everything about Amy is criminal these days, from the tatoos to the scarily-skinny frame – the hair is just the crowing glory. Or not, as the case may be.

Fashion Police Approved: Mischa Barton & Kerry Washington in Cannes

I know you probably hadn’t realised it, but here at The Fashion Police, we believe in giving credit where it’s due. Yes, even to Mischa Barton. That’s why we’ve started our new ‘Fashion Police Approved’ category, to let us show a little love to the people who get it right. Let them be an example to us all. We’re kicking this new category off with Kerry Washington and – gasp! – Mischa Barton. Now, I know Mischa is more used to being arrested for her crimes against fashion, and this is because Mischa normally looks like she got dressed in the dark, but you have to hand it to her – the girl done good with this dramatic black and…

Crime of Fashion: GlowFur

Wait a minute. Just what, might I ask, is this? Oh. It’s Glow Fur. Fur that… glows. I see. It seems to be being marketed mainly as "Club Wear", but really, that’s no excuse is it? (And if you ask me, the Club Wear industry has got a lot to answer for when it comes to crimes of fashion. Why, I bet we could hang out in any nightclub in the land, any evening of the week, and come home with at least a dozen fashion criminals tucked under our belts.*) There are lots of different types of Glow Fur. Coats. Hats. Leggings. Waistcoats. Every single one of them? Is horrible. Just… horrible. Arrested, for crimes against fashion. No bail….