Crimes of Fashion, Dresses

Fashion Police Amnesty on Tunics

OK fashion designers and retailers, the game’s up. I want you to come out now with the tunics above your heads (no, not like that!) and no one will get hurt here. That’s it, all the way out…

You see, I’ve had enough. I have tried to love the tunic top, I really have. Hell, I even bought one. I tried to love them, in all their billowing, empire lined glory. I told myself they didn’t make me look like a pregnant lady. I told myself that why, loud, psychedelic prints could totally work. And you know what? They totally could. Just not on me. Because let’s face it: that sole tunic I bought even makes the coathanger look pregnant. And while I’m sure those prints do look great on someone, I’m now so sick of them that I’m calling a tunic amnesty. Let’s have no more of these unflattering sacks. Let’s get back to dresses that flatter our figures rather than making random people in the street smile at us and ask us when the baby’s due. Whaddya say?

I think I could maybe have dealt with my current level of Tunic Hate just a little bit better if the trend hadn’t gone on for so damn long now. I thought winter would see the end of it, but no – it’s continuing well into Spring. I’m leaving for my honeymoon in less than a month now (have I mentioned that often enough yet, do you think) and can I buy myself any pretty, summer dresses? No. I cannot. I can buy tunics, tunics or… did you guess “tunics”? Correct!

Seriously, it’s all the shops seem to stock at the moment (in the UK, anyway. I’ve seen some lovely dresses on US websites, but will they ship here? Don’t be silly…). If you don’t like tunics? You’re pretty much screwed. Am I alone here? Or do you find yourself wanting to buy yourself one of these:

Black and lime print tunic: Dorothy Perkins
Circle Tunic Dress – just like granny used to wear! – Topshop
Yellow leaf tunic – Wallis

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