So, Kate n’ Pete got married – oh no they didn’t! Oh yes they did! Lookout, Kate – he’s behiiiinnnddd yooooouuu! GOD. They really are living their own private pantomime, aren’t they? Are they married? Well, The Sun says "yes", Kate’s publicist says "no" – in conclusion: who the hell knows? And, more importantly, who the hell cares? Anyone? Is this thing on?

My one hope for the year of our Lord, 2007, (in fashion terms at least) is that it’s at least a little more Moss-free than the last one. Please God, give us that, at least. Let them marry or let them not: just let them stay out of the limelight for a few weeks, pretty please? It’s a shame, because Kate used to be my favourite supermodel (I’m sure she’ll be absolutely gutted to know this is no longer the case – GUTTED) but Pete just drags her down. In fact, Pete drags everyone down by association. Actually, wait: I’m doing it too, aren’t I? Talking about them, I mean. Gah…