It’s Christmas Eve, which means that here at Fashion Police HQ we’re already tucking into the mince pies (and, OK, the champagne) and rattling our presents to see if that really is that pair of Louboutins we asked for under the tree. All that remains is for us to wish all of our readers and sponsors a Happy Christmas and a fabulous New Year, and to say thank you for sticking with us through the thrills and spills of 2007. We’ll be back in 2008 with more of the good, bad and downright ugly of the wonderful world of fashion. We’ll see you then!
As the end of the year approaches, it’s time for us to take a terrifying trip through our archives and ask you, our readers, this buring question:
What was the biggest fashion crime of 2007?
In putting together this poll, we’ve tried to ignore one-offs and novelties like the pubic hair suits and Christian Lacroix’s unforgettable motorcycle boots (which we sincerely hope were a one-off), and have stuck instead to the trends which infiltrated the collective consciousness over the year, spreading bad fashion across the land. You may love them, you may hate them, but unless you tell us, we’ll never know, so vote now for the biggest fashion crime of 2007, and if there’s one you think we’ve forgotten, tell us about it in the comments!
I’m not going to lie to you: I picked this little Alberta Ferretti number as today’s dress of the day, not just because I like it, but because it looks almost exactly like a long-sleeved version of the dresses the Fashion Police Squad are wearing in our banner. You gotta love that.
This dress is purple – yeah, yeah, yawn if you want to – but not so’s you’d notice. In fact, it looks a lot like a classic LBD until you take a closer look, which is a good thing because it’s not going to be quite as identifiably "2007" a couple of years down the line. (And yes, for £828 I’d still want to be wearing it a couple of years down the line…)
This is one of those dresses which looks better on than it does in the picture, I think: it certainly looks stunning on the Net-a-Porter mannequin, but then, I guess everything looks good on her. Bitch.*
As it gets to the end of the year, it’s time for a whole lotta list-making. Time Magazine are one of the first off the fashion mark, with their list of what they claim were the top ten "must have" fashion items of 2007. Here’s the list in full, along with our take on things…
1. The Tent Dress
No. No, no, no. We say it again: NO. Look, if it’s got the word "tent" in it, it’s meant for sleeping in and, you know, camping. And actually, some of those dresses could easily have accommodated a family of four, or even more. We held a fashion amnesty on sack-like dresses back in March, and we stand by what we said. Time Magazine may point out that this was "the perfect silhouette to beat the summer heat and gracefully disguise any extra pounds". We say, "Yes, but it made everyone look pregnant, so we’ll take the summer heat, thanks very much."
The store’s description of this knit top includes the phrase, “Be warm, comfy and sexy all at the same time.” And, you know, it’s a nice concept, I guess. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be further from reality. First of all, this top is so flimsy that it’s vaguely skin-toned, even though it’s supposed to be black. Secondly, the model doesn’t look very comfortable—maybe it has something to do with my third point. Thirdly, at what point in the history of the universe has an armpit hole ever qualified as "sexy"?
I mean, I doubt that’s what the designers had in mind when they carved out part of the top in an effort to transform it from blah to sexy. And, um, kudos on being imaginative, I guess? But there they are. Her armpits, her underarm-area, her… there really isn’t a way to make that sound attractive.
The description of the top also claims that this is “just what you’ll need for a night out.” I wonder, do they mean that you’ve been provided with built-in vents so you won’t have to worry about sweat-stains when you hit the dance club?
Amy is part student/part fashionista, and the author of her own fashion blog. Read more about her at Talk Fashion to Me.
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Black is often seen as "boring" when it comes to party wear, and it’s true that the little black dress is the failsafe of many a desperate woman with nothing to wear. There’s a reason why this look is a classic, though, and that reason is epitomised by Dolce & Gabbana’s black strapless flounce dress.
Designed to flatter the figure with its nipped in waist and slightly ruffled bodice, the flounces on the hem and buckle detail at the waist make it a little more interesting than some LBDs we could mention. All it needs is a fabulous pair of heels in any colour you like, and you’re good to go. Assuming you have $1285 to pay for it, obviously.
I know there was probably a car waiting for her just a few metres away, but my first thought on seeing Victoria Beckham out shopping in London in this little black dress was "God, she must have been freezing!" If it’s cold enough for gloves, Victoria, it’s cold enough for a nice, warm coat, and maybe a pair of tights, hmmm? OK, enough with the "sounding like Victoria’s mother", on with the real business of this post, which is to inform you all that Vic’s LBD is by What Comes Around Goes Around, and, for once, this is a piece of genuine Posh Spice style that you can steal without spending too much money, because it’s down to $209 at Neiman Marcus.
With the money you save, you can rush out and buy a copy of ‘Valentino Garavani: First Name in Fashion’ whichis what Victoria will apparently be finding in her Christmas stocking this year, courtesy of husband David Beckham, who spent $1500 on the limited edition piece. Expensive book.
Before y’all start yelling at me to DO SOME HOMEWORK!, I did spend a few freaky minutes on Google looking up Arden Wohl, but the truth is that I got so distracted by the pictures that all I managed to glean from the experience is that she’s some sort of socialite with pretensions to film-making, who likes to dress… interestingly.
I may, of course, be wrong about this, for five minutes does not "research" make, but none of this has any bearing on my real question, which is: WHY? Why is she dressed like this? Is she going to a party at which she’ll be expected to teach people how to do the two-step by lying on the ground and allowing them to tramp all over her legs? Did she cut up a Playstation dance mat to make those leggings? And if so, we come back to the same old question: WHY?
It’s Christmas Eve, which means that here at Fashion Police HQ we’re already tucking into the mince pies (and, OK, the champagne) and rattling our presents to see if that really is that pair of Louboutins we asked for under the tree. All that remains is for us to wish all of our readers and sponsors a Happy Christmas and a fabulous New Year, and to say thank you for sticking with us through the thrills and spills of 2007. We’ll be back in 2008 with more of the good, bad and downright ugly of the wonderful world of fashion. We’ll see you then!
I’m not going to lie to you: I picked 
As it gets to the end of the year, it’s time for a whole lotta list-making. Time Magazine are one of the first off the fashion mark, with their list of what they claim were the top ten "must have" fashion items of 2007. Here’s the list in full, along with our take on things…
Black is often seen as "boring" when it comes to party wear, and it’s true that the little black dress is the failsafe of many a desperate woman with nothing to wear. There’s a reason why this look is a classic, though, and that reason is epitomised by Dolce & Gabbana’s 
Before y’all start yelling at me to DO SOME HOMEWORK!, I did spend a few freaky minutes on Google looking up Arden Wohl, but the truth is that I got so distracted by the pictures that all I managed to glean from the experience is that she’s some sort of socialite with pretensions to film-making, who likes to dress… interestingly.
