| | Monthly Archives: December 2006Crime of Fashion: Bulga’s Leather Multi-Pocket Satchel | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Yup, we’re still out to dinner with TomKat, Posh and the J.Lo’s, and it looks like somebody ate just a bit too much vindaloo, hey J.Lo? Either that or she’s committed the very basic fashion crime of only looking at your outfit from the front, and not from the back and sides. Meanwhile, Victoria Beckham quietly gets on with showing everyone else up:
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You know, I can’t help liking Katie Holmes. Despite being one part of the second-strangest pairing in recent times (first strangest: Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley), and even despite all the Scientology stuff, there’s still something quite sweet and endearing about her. The thing about Katie, though? Well, you know that scene in Clueless, where Alicia Silverstone’s character sees Brittany Murphy’s character, and she’s all, “ooh! Project!” That’s how I feel about Katie. She’s a project: a lovely young girl, perfect raw material, who just so happens to dress exactly like my mother did in the 80s. (Actually, scratch that: my mother is way more stylish than Katie Holmes. I mean, what, does she have that freaky premature ageing disease or something? No? Then why is she permanently dressed like someone’s maiden aunt, in frumpy, shapeless clothes that do absolutely nothing for her? WHY? )
The thing that sucks about this picture the most? She was out with Victoria Beckham and J.Lo at the time. GOD…
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Auntie Em! Auntie Em! There’s no place like home! There’s no place like home!
Well, we’re definitely not in Kansas any more, Toto, but hell, why not dress like we are, anyway? I seriously can’t decide whether to love this dress or hate it: every time I start feeling the love I picture myself in plaits and ankle socks and this dress, and the love kinda goes away, you know? So the jury’s still out. Luckily – and here’s a complete and utter shocker for ya, folks – Topshop don’t have it in stock in my size anyway! Well, there’s a turn up for the books…
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Even Fashion Police cadets know that protruding nipples are SO not a good look. The answer to this most vexing of problems? Why, it’s Nippits: the concealer strips for your nips. As far as I can make out, these are sort of sticking plasters which hide your lady lumps, protecting your modesty perfectly. One question, though: how painful are they to remove?!
More fashion accessories
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Lookit this New Look model: doesn’t she look happy, in a smug kinda “Ha ha, I’m wearing summer clothes and you’re not!” kind of way? (Well, except in the last picture, obviously. In that, she just looks pissed) And well she might: for she is modelling New Look’s Spring/Summer 07 collection, and as New Look don’t see fit to put more than a few pictures of their clothing on their website (WHY?), here is one of the few places you can actually see it. So far? I like it. Well, I like the little cropped jacket, anyway: that’s SO mine when it comes into the store. The raggedy skirt? Not so much. And the brown, yellow and blue dress? Well, I can see where they were going with it, but it looks a lot like a sack to me. A colourful sack, but still… More pics after the jump.
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Well, what would you wear out to dinner for your mother’s birthday? Well, not this for sure. I mean, I couldn’t even stand the thought of the mis-matched undies alone, even if they were covered up. Brit’s aren’t covered up, and you know what? You really don’t need the Fashion Police to point out that this is just WRONG, so let’s just leave it there, shall we?
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Now, I’m not disputing that this is, indeed, “the world’s most sexy jumper”, as the seller claims it is. No, what I’m disputing is that it’s meant to be worn like this, with absolutely nothing underneath it to stop your tits jumping out and swallowing someone…
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