Crimes of Fashion

Denim is out of control again

It’s happening again, fashion force. Just when we thought the destroyed denim trend was over, and it was safe to go back into Toshop again, without fear of running into hundreds of pairs of raw hem jeans (is it just us, or does anyone else look at those things and feel like the wearer is obviously in someone else’s hand-me-downs, which had to have the hems let out or cropped off to fit properly?), they go and do this to poor old denim:

cold shoulder denim jacketThey call it an “extreme cold shoulder denim jacket”. Which seems pretty accurate, really. Our main question, though, is WHY? Why do people all of sudden find it SO unacceptable to cover their shoulders? Why must they always be bared to the elements, whether in a dress, a jumper or even a jacket, like this one? And when is it EVER cold enough to need a jacket, but warm enough for bare shoulders? More importantly, WHY MUST BRANDS KEEP ON MESSING WITH DENIM? Why can’t they just leave it be: denim wasn’t broken, after all, so why the repeated attempts to fix it, we wonder?

Meanwhile, over at ASOS:

oversized denim shorts

This model is showing us her stomach in a brave attempt to distract us from the fact that she’s wearing someone else’s shorts. At least, we’re assuming that’s why she’s doing it (The pose is just a little bit random, if not, although, to be fair, if we had abs like that, we’d probably go around holding our shirts up all the time, too…) As for why she’s wearing the shorts, meanwhile, well, this is all the proof you need that modelling is NOT always glamorous, people: although she should probably consider herself lucky that they didn’t make her wear the shorts with the jacket above – seems like the “edgy” thing to do, non?

Wanted!

4 Things to Buy for Spring from River Island

The wind might be howling around the Fashion Police HQ as we write this, but that doesn´t stop us looking ahead to spring 2017 – and, more importantly, to all of the wonderful clothes we hope it will bring us!

Today we´re taking a look at some of the spring offerings from River Island: here are four things to get you in the mood for warmer weather…

This mustard trench coat

mustard yellow trench coat

River Island actually released this trench coat around this time last year, too, and we´re more than happy to see it make a comeback for 2017. A good trench is a spring staple for us (and for a lot of other people, too), and this sunny yellow shade will be a breath of fresh air at the end of a long, dark winter.

This pink trench coat

pink trench coat

Yellow not your colour? Don´t worry: not only is the yellow coat above also available in a more traditional beige, there´s also this gorgeous pale pink number, to help you introduce a bit of subtle colour to your wardrobe. This one isn´t available online yet, but keep an eye out for it arriving soon!

cream floral wrap dress

This cream floral wrap dress

Nothing says springtime quite like a floral-print dress (Yes, we can feel you getting ready to drop that ´Devil Wears Prada´quote on us, but try to resist!). This little dress will look good with the pink coat above it, and could also be worn with tight, if the season isn´t quite as warm as we´d like it to be. Speaking of which…

This flower print cardigan

pink and red flower print cardigan

Even when spring does arrive, we all know we´re probably still going to be feeling a chill in the air for quite some time, so this pretty pink and red floral print cardigan offers a nice way to stay warm, while still giving a nod to the season.

Wanted!

Dinsosaur Style from Kate Spade

Dinsosaur bags by Kate Spade

Dinosaur bags by Kate Spade, available at Shopbop

Dinosaurs are going to be, like, SO HOT this year, folks  – but only if they´re either purple or hot pink. How do we know? Because Kate Spade says so, obviously. The bags above are just two of the dinosaur-themed creations from her collection currently available at Shopbop. Are they cute, though, or just kinda childish? We´re going to let you be the judge of that: and while you´re making your mind up, here are some other Kate Spade goodies to feast your eyes on…

Kate Spade Alexa heart bag

Dinosaur bags by Kate Spade

Now that Christmas is finally out of the way, it´s time for the PRs and bloggers to start obsessing over Valentine´s day – which we can guarantee all of the press releases we receive for the next few weeks will tell us is “just around the corner”. We can also pretty much guarantee that this little heart print bag will be cropping up on every Valentine themed gift guide you come across – something this cute will be just impossible to ignore!

Kate Spade When Pigs Fly Clutch

Dinosaur bags by Kate Spade

As well as all those purple dinosaurs, we´re predicting that flying pigs will also be pretty big ion 2017. This clutch big is $448 at Shopbop, but there are only three left, so if you´ve always wanted to carry a flying pig around with you, you might not want to wait too much longer before hitting the “add to basket” button.

Speaking of that “add to basket” button, don´t forget that the Shopbop sale is still on, offering up to 70% off some items.  They´ve just added hundreds more items to the sale, bu they´re probably not going to stick around for long, so now´s your chance to grab a last-minute bargain… or a flying pig handbag, whichever you prefer.

Fashion Police

Fashion Police Shop the Sales

fashion sales and discount codesGreetings, Fashion Force: we hope you all had a wonderful Christmas, but as much as we’d love to hear all about it, there’s important business to take care of first: namely, the sales!

Now, admittedly, the Christmas/New Year sales aren’t what they once were. We’re old enough to remember the days when most stores launched their big sales on Boxing Day – and not before – and there would be this huge rush to spend your Christmas cash, plus anything you’d managed to save over the past year, on that coveted item you’d been admiring for months. No more, though. Nah, now that most brands have sales all year round, and everyone’s jumped on board the Black Friday train, the end-of-year sales often just mean an opportunity for stores to wheel out all the stock they didn’t manage to sell (often for good reason) throughout the rest of the year. There are still some bargains to be had, though, and if you’re not quite all shopped out yet, here are just a few of them, to be getting on with…

Shopbop sale

SHOPBOP : up to 75% off with code TREATYOURSELF

NET-A-PORTER: up to 50% off selected lines

TOPSHOP : up to 50% off

ASOS: up to 50% off

DOROTHY PERKINS: up to 50% off everything

RIVER ISLAND: up to 50% off

ZARA: various discounts

MANGO: up to 50% off

OASIS: up to 50% off

WAREHOUSE: up to 50% off

BODEN: up to 60% off

H&M: up to 60% off

GAP: up to 60% off

CLOSET LONDON – 30% off

JOY: up to 60% off

SUGARHILL BOUTIQUE: up to 40% off

KAREN MILLEN: up to 50% off

BANANA REPUBLIC : up to 60% off

SELFRIDGES: up to 50% off

NEW LOOK: up to 70% off

HOBBS: various reductions

LA REDOUTE: up to 60% off

MONSOON: up to 50% off

J CREW: 50% off selected styles

FOREVER 21: up to 50% off

NORDSTROM: up to 50% off throughout January

Happy shopping, everyone: don’t do anything we wouldn’t do!

Wanted!

50% off partywear – and your last chance to find that perfect Christmas outfit!

OK guys, there are just four shopping days left until Christmas, and if, like us, you like to do most of your shopping online, we’d recommend getting those last-minute purchases in today – and ponying up the extra cash for next-day delivery- if you want to make sure they get there on time.

If you still have gifts to buy, well, we’re afraid your on your own with that – good luck, though. If you need a last-minute outfit, however, your luck is in, because River Island are currently offering 50% partywear – and there’s still time for that next-day shipping option to get it to you on time. Phew! Here’s some of what you could buy…

black jumpsuit

Black bandeau jumpsuit, £20

The jumpsuit is basically the fashionista’s alternative to the little black dress: it’s almost as versatile (well, unless you’re talking about toilet visits, in which case the opposite is true), but it’s just a little bit cooler. This one is currently reduced to £20, and is available in a range of different colours.

glitter ankle boots

glitter ankle boots, £20

Metallic ankle boots have been one of the big hits of this season: they work really well with all of those pleated midi skirts that are also super-popular right now, and we’re willing to bet this glitter version will be a whole lot more comfortable than strappy sandals by the end of the night. Speaking of skirts, meanwhile…

metallic pencil skirt

Metallic pencil skirt, £10

No, you’re not reading that wrong: this metallic pencil skirt is just £10, and although it’s simple, it’s also sparkly enough to more than make up for it!

red knitted dress

Red Handkerchief hem dress, £20

If you’re looking for something just a little bit different, the red colour of this dress gives it a suitably festive feel, without being too over-the-top. This one will also transition easily enough to daywear, too, making that £20 price tag seem even more of a bargain!

Fashion News

Shopbop 65% off sale!

Shopbo 65% off sale

OK, OK, settle down: you’re not getting 65% off EVERYTHING, unfortunately, but for the next three days at least, you can get up to 65% off at Shopbop by using the code EXTRA30 to get an extra 3-& off the already-discounted sales items. Read to shop? Because we are…

Kendzo Cosy ScarfThe Cosy Scarf

Kenzo’s ‘Cosy’ scarf not only lives up to its name, it also comes in five different colours, and would make an excellent Christmas gift  – assuming you can resist buying one for yourself, that is.

Kate Spade glitter ankle bootsKate Spade glitter ankle boots

Don’t think you can pull off glitter ankle boots? Well, there’s really only one way to answer that question, and a 40% discount (not to mention that additional 30%) makes this a good time to get that answer. (Oh, and for the record? You can TOTALLY pull off glitter ankle ankle boots: trust us on this…)

Monrow robe and bkanket lounge set

Monrow robe and blanket lounge set

A robe AND a blanket, all in one cute, heart-shaped package? Why have we never heard of this before? And why isn’t everyone selling them? Again, if you don’t fancy this for yourself, it would make a great Christmas gift for the lady who loves to lounge. And seriously: who DOESN’T love to lounge?

See by Chloe Vicki bag

See by Chloe Vicki cross-body bag

Finally, we don’t know about you, but we can always find room inside the closet for one more handbag, and a tan leather number like this one will never go out of style. It may, however, go out of stock: this sale lasts for three days only, so if you’re the type who likes to sit around for weeks deliberating over your purchases then a) You have far stronger willpower than we do, so kudos to you for that, but b) don’t blame us if that item you’re after is sold out by the time you decide to hit the ‘buy now’ button!

Wanted!

25% off at Dorothy Perkins – but only until midnight!

OK, Cinderella, you have until midnight to fill up your baskets and run off with your handsome prince – by which we mean your new dress, shoes, or whatever it is you’ve chosen to buy. Yup, the store that just keeps on giving is having yet ANOTHER sale: this time Dorothy Perkins are offering 25% off just about everything, so whether you’re shopping for a Christmas party outfit, searching for stocking fillers, or just giving yourself a bit of a treat, now’s the time to do it. And if you’re spoilt for choice, here are some suggestions to help you on your way:

Angela Western styleankle boots

‘Angela’ western style ankle boots

No, they’re never going to be mistaken for Chloe, but then again, they’re not going to cost you £600 either, are they? (Actually, they’ll cost you £29.25 on sale, which sounds like a pretty good deal to us, given that you’ll wear them all winter long: and possibly all spring and summer too, if your climate is anything like ours…)

Chi Chi London dress

Chi Chi London embroidered dress

Honestly? Unless you’re getting married real soon, or have the kind of lifestyle we at The Fashion Police can only dream of, we can’t even imagine why you’d need this dress. With that said, it’s currently £29.99 on sale, and that might just be reason enough, don’t you think?

Finally, and still in the ‘fantasy shopping’ section…

Little Mistress tulle midi skirt

Little Mistress tulle midi skirt

What can we say: we like tulle skirts, and we cannot lie. This style is actually still pretty much on trend right now, so we don’t feel too guilty for showing you this one, but even if it wasn’t, if you’re going to buy yourself the kind of skirt you’re probably not going to find yourself wearing every day (or even every week), you might as well do it while it’s on sale, huh?

Fashion Police

The Black Friday sales start today!

Shopbop Black Friday week sale

With Black Friday almost upon us, we hope you’ve been saving our cash (and not, say, doing what WE did, which was to buy a bunch of stuff at full price last week, minutes before we remembered it would all probably be on sale just a few days later: d’oh!) and figuring out what to spend it on! Just to help you along, Shopbop’s big Black Friday week sale starts today, and will run until next Tuesday. This is a tiered discount sale, meaning that the more you spend, the more you save – so if you have friends or family who also have some serious Shopbop sale shopping to do, it could be worth joining forces, and taking advantage of the larger discounts. The most sensible thing to do would probably be to use it as excuse to get all of the Christmas shopping out of the way, and save some money on it: but then again, when have we ever been sensible? Exactly.

As for the rest of the sales, well, there are really too many of them to list right now, but luckily help is at hand, in the shape of Woznow – a fashion aggregator which basically lists almost every single item currently on sale in the UK. This is a site you can get lost on for hours, but you’ll hopefully end up with a few bargains to show for it: oh, and it’s not just for Black Friday, either, so make sure you bookmark sales at Woznow, and keep checking back to find out if that dress/coat/pair of shoes you’re after is finally on sale!

Now go forth and shop, fashion force!

Crimes of Fashion

Christmas comes early at ASOS

Christmas jumper

It’s hard to believe it sometimes, but this blog has been running for over a decade now, and while you probably wouldn’t think that would be long enough to see any major changes in the world  of fashion, we’ve definitely seen a few.

Take Christmas jumpers, for instance. Back when we first started policing the world of fashion, the Christmas jumper was rarely seem outside the world of ugly sweater parties. Wearing one would’ve been seen as the ultimate crime of festive fashion, and every December, our cells would fill out with sweaters depicting giant snowmen, scary Santas and other things more commonly seen on small children than grown adults.

Now, though? How the times have changed. Now Christmas sweaters start filling the stores in around October, and people will happily wear them, without even a hint of irony. Some of them are just as bad as the ones from the ugly sweater parties of old. Some are even quite nice, in a “If we absolutely HAD to wear a holiday sweater, then this is the one we’d choose,” kinda way.

Then there’s this one.

Now, to be fair, this one might not even BE a Christmas sweater, for all we know. There’s nothing in the product listing to suggest it is one, and it doesn’t have the usual suspects (Santa or snowmen) on the front, either. With all of that said in its defence, however, as soon as we laid eyes on it, we were instantly reminded of the Christmas craft projects we used to do in school, when we were little kids: you know, the ones where you’d make paper chains out of cardboard, or Christmas crackers out of toilet rolls: that kind of thing? This, then, is a child’s craft project of a Christmas sweater to us: and if this is what the future of festive fashion looks like, we’re probably just going to hibernate right through until January…

Wanted!

25% off almost everything at Dorothy Perkins

If there was a prize for the brand with the most sales and discount codes, we reckon Dorothy Perkins would win it, no problem. Barely a week seems to go by without another offer (not that we’re complaining, you understand!), and this week is no exception, with 25% off almost everything on the site. Here’s what we’d buy…

pink full skirtpink satin full skirt – currently £31.50

We rarely find a full skirt we don’t love, and while the black version of this skirt would probably be the more practical option, this pink version is a lot more fun.

black 'Bethany' court shoes

black ‘Bethany’ court shoes – now £28.80

If you’re looking for something to wear with that skirt, meanwhile, these black ‘Bethany’ court shoes have a touch of the Manolo Blahnik about them, thanks to the square brooch on the toe: thankfully they don’t have the designer price-tag, though, even when they’re not on sale! (Oh, and they’re also available in burgundy!)

grey snowflake jumpergrey snowflake jumper – currently £25.50

Christmas jumper season is now upon us, which is either good news or bad news, depending on your point of view. For those of you who aren’t into the “dress like a toddler” trend, and who don’t therefore want to walk around with Santa Claus, or a cartoon reindeer, emblazoned on your chest, this grey snowflake jumper is a slightly more subtle way to give a nod to the festive season.

metallic rib bodycon dressmetallic rib bodycon dress

Finally, this metallic rib bodycon dress is another way to add some subtle sparkle to your winter ensembles. This is actually from the ‘Tall’ range, but it’s knee-length on the model, which means it should hit just below the knee on the rest of us, which is a good length for a bodycon style dress. We love the simple shape of this one, which will look as good with tights and boots as it will with a pair of heels.

Fashion News

Surprise! It’s another Shopbop sale!

Sound the Shopbop sale claxon, officesr! Another flash sale has started, which means you have just three days to claim up to 40% off selected items. Want to see what we’d buy? Well, you’re in luck, because today we’ve done the sale shopping, so you don’t have to. (Er, you DO have to if you actually want to buy the clothes, though, OK? We’re not doing THAT for you, too…)

Purple knit mini dress

Carven knit mini dress

First up, this knit dress by Carven, which has a simple shape, great colour (who needs black or navy when you can have this glorious purple instead, right?), and – wonder of wonders – long sleeves. We don’t know about you, but we’ve had enough of knit dresses which force us to throw a cardigan over the top, thanks to the three-quarter or elbow length sleeves: if it’s cold enough to need a knit dress, it’s too cold for bare arms, fashion designers!

Schutz ankle boots

Schutz tan ankle boots

Next, say hello to these tan ankle boots by Schutz, and then try telling us they’re NOT an autumn/winter essential? You can’t do it, can you? Even the COLOUR is called ‘Autumn’, for goodness sake, and we’d wear these aaaalll season long.

Looking for something a little fancier in the footwear department? Enter Casadei, and their amazing ‘Blade’ heels:

Casadei slingback pumps

Casadei slingback pumps

OK, so even with 40% off, these still aren’t cheap, we’re not gonna lie. That discount, however, brings the price down from $750 to $450, which is quite a reduction. So, if you’re a shoe lover with a mind to making an investment, we’re pretty sure you won’t regret this one: those heels are a true classic.

Finally, this coat ISN’T in the sale, but we had to show it to you anyway, because…

Anya Hindmarch Oversized egg coat

Anya Hindmarch Oversized Egg Coat

… yes, that IS an egg on the pocket. And on the other pocket. Of a $2,750 coat. We’re just going to leave that to sink in, while we go mix ourselves a stiff drink…

Fashion Police

25% off at Boden & what to buy

Boden discount codes

Boden discount codes are amongst the most sought-after on the internet (and here at Fashion Police HQ especially), so a 25% off sale is reason to rejoice, indeed. This one is also reason to get your skates on (not literally, we hasten to add) because this one is a sale of diminishing returns: the 25% off is only valid until this Thursday, then it decreases to 15% off until Saturday 29th, and then 10% on the final day – Sunday 30th. So if you want to get the item you want, AND the full discount, you’re probably going to want to get it NOW: because just think how much you’re going to hate yourself when you wait until Sunday, only to realise you’re only getting 10% off, and everything’s sold out, anyway. Well played, Boden, well played…

As for what to buy with that super-special discount, meanwhile, may we recommend this little lot?

Boden Marisa dress

Boden Marisa dress

We’ve had our eye on this for a while now: it’s very ‘Jackie O’ inspired, with that boatneck top and knee-length skirt, and as an added bonus, it has sleeves – yay! This would make a great workwear dress, but it could easily be dressed up for evening, too. If you’re looking for something a little more laid back, meanwhile…

Boden boatneck ruched dress

Boatneck ruched dress

You just can’t go wrong with a simple black jersey dress – and although we’ve described this one as more laid back than the previous one, it’s ALSO very much a dress up / dress down piece: wear with tights and boots for a casual look, or heels and jewels for evening.

Finally…

Boden 'Lovely' jumper

Boden ‘Lovely’ jumper

We’ve been seeing this slogan sweater all over Instagram lately, so we’re not surprised to find that there aren’t many sizes available, but you might just get lucky and find yours, AND get that 25% discount. See you on Instagram, if you do…

Wanted!

15% off at H&M – here’s what to buy

H&M is becoming a dangerous addiction these days: not only is the autumn/winter collection particularly covetable, there’s also been a steady stream of discount codes and sales which have made a spot of internet shopping hard to resist. Right now, the brand is offering 15% off, plus free delivery on all orders over £75: and if you’re wondering what to buy to get that discount, don’t worry: The Fashion Police are here to help…

pink wool coat

Pink wool blend coat

This coat has been doing the rounds on Instagram lately, and it’s not hard to see why: it’s the perfect, baby-pink colour, but in a slouchy, over-sized shape that means you’re not going to look too ‘Elle Woods’ in it. Pink coats were huge a couple of winters ago, but there’s still plenty of them around, and if this one is anything to go by, it’s a trend we hope to see continue.

lilac tuxedo jacket

Lilac tuxedo jackets

Tuxedo jackets are a great alternative to cocktail dresses (or can even be worn WITH cocktail dresses) for evening wear, and they’ll also easily dress up a pair of jeans, too. This one comes in both black and this more unusual lilac shade – and if you want the head-to-toe look, you can also buy the matching pants!

luxury loungewearSilk nightshirt and cashmere blend dressing gown

On the subject of evening wear, here’s some of a different sort. We don’t know about you, but the long, dark nights make us more interested in curling up on the sofa than hitting the town, so we’re loving this silk nightshirt and cashmere-blend dressing gown, neither of which we’d have assumed came from H&M, if we hadn’t found them on the brand’s website. These will bring a touch of luxury to your loungewear, and could also make a great Christmas gift, if you’re feeling generous!

The 15% off offer is valid until October 23rd: just enter code 6085 at checkout. Happy shopping!

Fashion News

Shop the Shopbop October Sale!

Shopbop October sale
You might have been thinking Halloween was the biggest event October had to offer, but actually, no: it’s the Shopbop October sale. Which DOES still allow you to dress up, now we come to think of it: just in a slightly different way.

The sale is on now, and runs for three days: you’ll find all of the details above, and if you’re looking for some shopping inspiration, here’s some to get you started…

Rag and Bone jeans

Rag & Bone/Jean

Canada Goose

Canada Goose 

Shopbop saleJonathan Simkhai

CosabellaCosabella

sale shoesAquazurra

SorelSorel

KAte Spade New TorkKate Spade New York

Celebrity Fashion

Are skinny jeans over?

Are skinny jeans over?

Jeans: Topshop

We’ve been hearing rumours about the death of the skinny jean for quite some time now, but is it true, we wonder? Are skinny jeans over? Let’s take a look at some evidence…

Exhibit A: Jennifer Aniston wearing boot cut jeans and a classic white shirt in New York last month. Boot. Cut. Jeans. We haven’t see those since… well, since Friends wasn’t just re-runs, let’s put it that way. Is Jen bringing the bootcut back? Well, the jury’s still out on this one: Jennifer Aniston, after all, has always stuck to a pretty classic style, and she’s been wearing more or less the same things for years now (no criticism, by the way, just fact), so we wouldn’t say she’s exactly got her finger on the pulse of fashion. Here’s some more evidence to consider, though:

Kate Bosworth, also pictured in New York last moth, wearing a pair of cropped flares – and not a skinny jean in sight. Hmmm. Between the bandanna and the flares, this is definitely much more of a “summer 2016” look: as is this one…

More cropped flares, this time on Emily Blunt, who’s also opted for a plain white t-shirt to wear with her wide legged jeans.

Finally:

Mom jeans. Well, they had to make an appearance sooner or later, didn’t they? Mom jeans have actually been around for quite some time now, and while we’ve been waiting (and hoping) for them to have had their moment, and then quietly retire from the style spotlight, it just doesn’t look like it’s going to happen anytime soon.

Conclusion?

Well, we wouldn’t quite start ringing the death knell for skinny jeans quite yet, because we think they’ll probably be sticking around for a while, at least. They no longer reign supreme, however, and it seems there are a whole host of other styles just waiting in the wings to take their place. Which could be either a good thing or a bad one, depending on your point of view…

Wanted!

The Fashion Police’s Favourite Phone Cases

6 of the best iphonecases

In an age when it seems no one is without their phones for more than a few minutes (Hey, can YOU remember what humans used to look like WITHOUT a phone clutched in one hand? No, us neither…) there’s no quicker pick-me-up than a new phone case. Plus, they look good in all those mirror selfies you post to Instagram, don’t lie…

When it comes to phone cases, our favourite brand would have to be Kate Spade, whose fun, quirky cases take some beating. If you prefer your phone cases more on the sophisticated side, however, new brand Richmond & Fitch have a range of rather more elegant cases, in a range of different colours. (One for every outfit? Just us?)

Finally, for selfie addicts, Snaplight’s  vanity phone cases are exactly what they sound like, with a built-in backlight to provide you with an extra source of lighting for your selfies. Oh, and there’s also a built-in rechargeable battery, for all of those times when Pokemon Go has drained your battery yet again, but you just HAVE to upload something to your Instagram story. Because how will the world keep turning if you don’t?

Crimes of Fashion, Jeans

Forget frayed jeans: feathers are where it’s at now

feathered jeans by Michael Kors collection

Feathered jeans by Michael Kors collection

For a long time now, fashion designers have been having a real problem with jeans, the problem being this: how to mess them up?

The thing is, for most people, jeans are a wardrobe staple. They’re classics. They’re worn by everyone, from the super-fashionable, to the not-even-remotely-fashionable – and everyone in between, too. Now, the problem for Fashion People (Who deserve to have their name written in caps, because they’re not like Other People, obviously), is that they don’t want to look like the not-even-remotely-fashionable people. Hell, they don’t even want to look like the somewhere-in-between people, either: which can be somewhat tricky when you’re wearing jeans – the uniform of Almost Everybody. Fashion People, after all, wouldn’t ever want to be accused of just wearing “jeans and a nice top”, for instance: so what are the poor things to do?

Of course, there are plenty of ways to wear jeans without looking – gasp! – ordinary, and a lot of it comes down to the type of jeans you’re wearing, as opposed to what you wear WITH THEM. (A nice top is a big no-no, though, just so you know…) What some fashion designers decide to do, however, is to shun the “classic” jean altogether, and create something new, and totally different.

Enter the feathered leg jean.

These jeans come at the end of a year in which fashion designers have found it impossible to stop messing with the hems of their jeans. First came the “raw” or let-down hem look, which is basically how your jeans would look if you simply took a pair of scissors and chopped off the hems. (You’ll have to pay way more for this if you let a fashion designer do it for you, though, obviously…) Then came the fringed hem, which is exactly what it sounds like, and looks a bit like you attached a small rug to your hems.

Now we have feathers: and not just on the hems, but all the way up the legs, too.

Where will it end, this constant push to redesign the wheel – we mean the jeans? We’ve no idea: but our officers will keep you posted…

Crimes of Fashion

Fur is back in fashion – and stranger than ever

YSL blue fur coat with exaggerated shoulder pads

A few weeks ago, we wrote about how fur is back in fashion – or, at least, no longer looked down upon by fashion, anyway – and how we’re so not cool with that. It’s bad enough to know that designers are still using real fur, when there are so many alternatives available to them, however, but it’s even worse when they use it to make something like this: almost £17,000 worth of bright blue fox fur, which we’re convinced would’ve looked a whole lot better on its original owners than it does on the kind of coat you’d be too scared to wear in case something happened to it. Oh, and in case people thought you were Cruella De Vil’s smurf-obsessed sister.

Then there’s this:Fendi fur and shearling coat

There are no words. There is, however, this fascinating insight into how the other half life: the half that think nothing of spending £9,000 on something that looks like this. As for The Fashion Police, meanwhile, at least we get a kick out of trying to imagine how our own other halves would react if we announced we’d spent that much money on a coat – and then produced THIS. We’re pretty sure they’d assume it was some kind of spectacularly unfunny practical joke – which, come to think of it, is maybe what Fendi intended all along.

By contrast, these pieces actually seem pretty tame:

fur coats with doll faces

Now, personally we’d rather NOT wear a jacket that has more hair than we have ourselves, but after the two examples above them, we have to conclude that it could be worse, couldn’t it? It could be a whole lot worse…

P.S. Don’t forget to check out our sponsors at Shopbop for some outfit options that WON’T leave you at risk of arrest from The Fashion Police. Or, at least, we HOPE not, anyway…

Crimes of Fashion, Jeans

The New Way to Wear Denim

It looks like denim’s gotten out of control again, fashion force. As if all of those bizarre-looking frayed-hem jeans weren’t bad enough, now our officers also have things like this to content with:

R13 layered distressed jeans

These sold out at Net-a-Porter within a few days, despite the fact that:

a) They cost £630

and

b) They’re a skirt attached to a pair of jeans.

Let’s think about that last point for a minute, shall we? Imagine, if you will, getting dressed in the morning. You pull on your favourite pair of jeans, and add a pair of beat-up white sneakers to wear with them. So far, so good. Basic, but good. Then you look in the mirror. “There’s just something missing here,” you find yourself thinking: so you go to your closet, have a quick rummage, and finally pull out a denim mini skirt, which you put on OVER the top of the jeans. “NOW I’m ready!” you declare triumphantly: except, you don’t, do you? Because, unless you’re the kind of person who prides yourself on wearing strange and possibly uncomfortable clothes (Because, seriously: there’s nothing about denim-skirt-over-denim-jeans that sounds remotely comfortable, is there?), there’s no part of this scenario that makes sense. Not even if it was a NICE pair of jeans, and a NICE denim skirt.

We’re NOT going to be signing up to be alerted when these are back in stock, in other words. And we’re probably not going to rushing out to buy these ones, either:

turn up culottesOn the plus side, at least you wouldn’t have to carry a handbag with these: you could probably fit just about everything you’d need inside those massive turn-ups, huh? On the minus side, however… well, the mugshot pretty much speaks for itself here, doesn’t it? If you have $270 burning a hole in your pocket, and a hankering for a big ol’ hemline, however, you know exactly what to do…

Wanted!

Fashion Police Hit List: What to buy this week

Greetings, fashion force: here’s what we’d buy this week, if we only had the cash…

Schutz cady Lee sandals in light wood

// SCHUTZ Cadey Lee Sandals in light wood

We’ve never been believers in the idea that there are certain items of clothing that EVERYONE should own, but if we were, we’d probably put a pair of a neutral, single-strap sandals on that list. Yes, we could definitely live without them: but would we really WANT to, we ask ourselves?

Topshop bird print robe// TOPSHOP BIRD PRINT ROBE

OK, so this does look a little bit like something Dumbledore might wear to bed, but that’s all part of the charm, really. We firmly believe in the feel-good factor of feeling stylish even when you’re just lounging around at home, and this robe is definitely a cut above those hideous adult onesies everyone was wearing a couple of years ago, at least.

Oasis butterfly skater dress// OASIS LONG BUTTERFLY SKATER DRESS

One of the things we love most about Oasis is the way they release some of their dresses in two different lengths: so this one, for instance, is a available in both short and long – and if you’ve ever come across a dress you love, only to realise it would only just skim your butt-cheeks, you’ll understand just how refreshing it is to finally have a choice. Oh, and the dress isn’t bad either…

Warehouse flare cuff jumper// WAREHOUSE FLARE CUFF JUMPER

Cosy jumpers are one of those items that fall into the “necessary, but not very interesting” category, so it’s nice to find one with just a little bit of a twist – in this case the flared cuffs. The rest of the shape is super-simple, which will make it a great basic for your autumn/winter wardrobe. And by “yours”, we obviously mean “ours”…

And finally…

J Crew ruffled popover shirt

// J CREW RUFFLED POPOVER SHIRT

We’ll never say ‘no’ to a polka dot shirt: just throw it on with jeans, and instantly look like you made a little bit of an effort – even when you blatantly didn’t…